Good Evening Brothers and Sisters. I come to you today to talk about a two-headed demon that is stalking our lands, preying upon our Brethren. This peril, this tool of the Down-Pressor, walks amongst us on a daily basis. It is spreading its lies over the airwaves, the internet, it is emblazoned on our sports heroes and even on giant televisions standing alongside our highways and byways. This demon wields a terrible power, and uses that power to reduce us to slaves, slaves of the desire for stuff.
You may ask me, "What is this thing Rev? What the hell is it that threatens us like this? What the hell are you blathering about?" Well, I'll tell you, Brethren, what I am blathering about. I am throwing down on the Two-Headed Stuff Monster. That's right, Sisters and Brothers. This two-headed, two-faced, and false thing tries, with all of its evil wiles, to spread a pernicious plague upon our fair planet.
First, the Two-Headed Stuff Monster creates the lie, the deceit, the myth, of spiritual contentment through consumption. This creature first will tell you, Brothers and Sisters, that your life sucks, that you are ugly and slow and old and without value. This hell-spawn will try to convince our good friends and neighbors that their life is without meaning. Life without meaning and without hope of ever achieving happiness, that is what this slime portrays. And just as we give up hope, just as we see our last chance for contentment slip away, the monster offers a solution: Stuff. If we can have it, Sisters, if we can just buy it, Brothers, we will be happy. That new car will make us sexier, those clothes will make us prettier, those stupid long-toed, pointy, elf-shoes will make us younger; these are the lies of the stuff monster. These lies are illusory siren calls my friends, and the truth is not in them.
My good friends, stuff will not make any of us loved, happy or contented. We all of us, each of us, know the source of our contentment. Our peace, our happiness, is held in the hearts and hands of our friends and families, our children; our loved ones, that special someone that makes our heart race when he or she walks in the room. Here lies our happiness, not in our possessions, not in our stuff. We know this, my Brethren, yet we heed the false call of the monster and rush to buy the newest piece of junk, rife with planned obsolescence, junk which will quickly fail to satisfy us and then end in our landfills. Our happiness is there for all of us, in our communities and in our leisure time to enjoy our connections with those around us. If we listen to the monster, we would hear that only stuff will fill the void in our lives. My good Brethren, no thing can fill our hearts, only those whom we gather around us can fill our hearts. Tell the monster this truth, tell the Stuff Monster, that real value, real worth, comes from our connection to our fellow beings in this world. Tell the monster this and watch it run, watch it shrink and run!
Perhaps no greater prophet has ever captured the dilemma of stuff, and whether we own our stuff or the other way around, like the very funny and very wise George Carlin. It is my fondest wish that you take the time to watch this video and that George is cracking them up in the next life, wherever that may be.
The second thing the monster will tell us, after we realize how badly our lives suck, is how great everything can be with new stuff. Perfectly packaged stuff is awaiting each of us, carefully placed on long gleaming shelves. This stuff is better than the stuff we have. This new stuff will make us stronger, lighter, faster and, of course, far more attractive to the folks we are trying to attract. Not only does the monster tell us, each of us, that stuff will fill the yawning chasm that is the hollowness of our lives, but that the stuff we already have is actually contributing to that chasm and needs to be chucked. That's right!! The Monster wants us to chuck our stuff to buy news stuff.
Why is this? Why would we throw away perfectly good stuff to buy more stuff? So we can work harder and have less leisure time, work so hard that we are unaware of the machinations of the Corporate Demon behind the curtains? Yes, my Brothers and Sisters. That is exactly what the Down-Pressor wants. The Down-Pressor wants each of to work more, consume more, throw away more, and to be so exhausted by the entire process that we do not notice the planet being poisoned and the pockets of the Fat Cats being lined.
The Rev wants to give a whoop, a hallelujah and a big ole' shout-out to a most righteous Sister, Annie Leonard, who brings us the amazing short movie, The Story of Stuff. Please, Sisters and Brothers, take the few minute required to view this little movie. Know the real cost of our stuff, the real cost to ourselves, to our neighbors, and to our planet.
We have been deceived by these Corporate Demons. They have grown so large they fear almost nothing, fear no government, fear no organization. Yet there is one thing, one thing my Brethren, that strikes the fear into their wizened, grasping and tiny hearts: they fear the loss of their money. We gave them the money, we can take it back! Don't listen to their lies! Stuff will not set us free, stuff will only enslave us. Remember the words of our esteemed and departed Brother, Malcolm X "We've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray!"
See the Stuff Monster for what it is and what it does! Fight the Power!
But I like my stuff! :-P
ReplyDeleteYes, Reverend Tim, but we both know that you are not owned by your stuff, rather the other way around. And like Mr. Carlin clearly points out, our stuff is great, while other peoples stuff is just crap. Keep the Faith, Rev Tim!!
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