Good Evening to you, Brothers and Sisters. My wish for all of our Brethren this fine winter evening is increased autonomy from the Down-Pressors, and freedom from their financial snares.
I have been hearing from some of our Brethren, which is always a joyful event. In the spirit of transparency, I am compelled to answer a query posed by a solid Brother.
"Hey Rev, are you really a Reverend and why the name Squeaky-Eye?"
First off, let me say I admire the Brother for slipping in two good questions for the price of one, just as slick as you please. Secondly, well, I guess the Rev had better present his Bona Fides.
The answer to part one of our Brother's question is simple. Yes, the Reverend Squeaky-Eye is an ordained minister, sanctioned by the State to perform marriages, funerals and the other rituals of the whole durn human comedy. As an aside, should you wish to have the Rev marry you, he would be only too glad to do so, in exchange for a nominal donation to your local food bank. If the Rev has to travel more than a day's ride by moto, I would hope you would throw a plate of grub his way and provide a flat spot, out of the wind, where he could unroll his bindle for the night. It goes without saying, of course, that the Rev performs whatever ceremonies and rituals need performing, without regard for sex, creed, colour, or the gender orientation of our beloved Sisters and Brothers, Brothers and Brothers, Sisters and Sisters, or what-have-you.
Should any of our Brethren require a Bris, the Rev can recommend some very qualified Rabbinic Mohels, Compeers of course. Understandably, the Rev would have to decline any invitation to perform this particular rite.
The answer to the second part of our Brother's question is equally simple. The Rev has a squeaky eye, the right eye actually. Rubbing the eye in question produces a cleary audible squeaking, which gives some folks within hearing range the willies. There are several causes for squeaky eye syndrome. The most common is dry eyes or dry tear-ducts, but my right orb has squeaked for years. The real cause of a permanent squeaky eye is an air pocket behind the eyeball, caused by sinus issues. A far fetched possibility is that I am unknowingly a member of the Squeaky-Eye Tribe, the existence of which I did not know about until I did the research for this entry.
Personally, I am sticking with the "air-pocket" theory, but the tribe thing is the coolest.
Thanks for indulging me, my Brethren. I will have to leave the question of whether or not the prefix of "Reverend" is applicable. I would propose that actions speak louder than titles, so the Brethren will have to judge for themselves.
Tomorrow we will be back to the nuts an bolts of throwing off the shackles of the Down-Pressor. In the meantime, Keep the Faith and Strike a Blow!!
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